The time has come

Well, tomorrow I begin the journey that began in December, 2005 when I got my acceptance letter to seminary. I think and reflect on the long road it took to get to this point. From having to go through the MEPS as a 31 year old alongside a group of young people who were just then enlisting in the Armed Forces (I stuck out like a sore thumb), then there was a year's wait to finally get a medical waiver, then there was the sweating out the prospect of being able to get a re-entry waiver. God was gracious and I got both waivers and became a chaplain candidate. Then on to the chaplain school at Fort Jackson - that was the time of my life and even through the school I felt my calling being confirmed. I had a rough time at first with the PT but with work and prayer I finally made it (I will probably never forget the day I finally passed my PT test). Then came graduation from the school. That was a great day. I went on to do some times of training called practicums where I could have some on the job training in the work of the chaplain. I did 36 days at Ft Jackson, 33 days at Ft Knox, and 36 days at Ft Bragg. Although I enjoyed each time and made some wonderful friends and learned a lot, it was at Fort Jackson that I had the absolute best practicum experience. It was there that I got the chance to actually be the chaplain for the 369th AG Battalion (with some supervision of course). I further felt the call confirmed as I got the chance to counsel Soldiers, visit with them in their various duties, and participate in worship with them. As a matter of fact, I served my practicum at Jackson and completed three seminary courses at the same time so I could be sure to graduate from seminary by May of 2009; I couldn't see anything but being a chaplain. At Fort Knox and Fort Bragg I really only got to "shadow" other chaplains and watch them perform their duties and ask questions. The best part of that was working at the sick call clinic at Fort Knox observing and learning from one of the best pastoral counselors I have since had the honor of meeting. Also at Knox I had the chance to participate in a mock disaster exercise to hone the skills needed for helping people cope in disaster situations. Finally, while at Fort Knox I got the chance to preach two field services to basic training soldiers. I believe that when soldiers are in training or when they are faced with deployment or combat the fields are a little whiter for ministry. At Fort Bragg I had some really unique opportunities such as observing a jump from a Blackhawk, watching the planning and execution of a Strong Bonds retreat, going on a visit with some soldiers from the 82nd Airborne to the Fayetteville Veteran's Hospital for Thanksgiving, having the chance to serve soldiers Thanksgiving dinner, and working with a battalion of the 82nd for a week. I cherished those opportunities and pray that they help me in the mission I now face. I thought it would be forever before I actually became a real chaplain. I prayed for and applied for active duty, but got approved for reserve duty. Maybe I need more experience before I can go active duty. I will certainly get that experience during the next year. I pray that this tour will lead to active duty. If not, at the very least, it should lead to a year's tour as a rear detachment chaplain at a post somewhere here in the U.S. where we can actually be "stationed." We will just have to see where the Lord leads at that time. I am anxious to go and do my duty for God and country. I am worried about my wife and child but if they were okay during the three months I spent in the chaplain school and during the different times I was gone on practicums, I have faith that they will be okay now. I have left my wife everything she needs while I am gone and in this age of instant communication you can be halfway across the world from each other and seem like you are in the same room. All of that being said, I am still anxious because I know how hard it is to leave home - and this time it is not 36 days or 90 days. But at least my family will be here where they have family, friends, and church near them; if we had been selected for active duty, chances are good that we would have been stationed somewhere and then I would have had to go and they would have been stuck possibly not knowing anyone. Another good thing is that we will not be hurting financially and my family will have the medical benefits enjoyed by active duty families. I have written way too much here. But just like when I am counseling someone, the first thing I stress to them is that just talking about whatever is bothering them will release that stress and help them to feel better, I also need a release to make me feel better. I am not re-thinking my decision to volunteer for this tour - I am just tense about leaving home. A chaplain friend of mine recently said that the beginning of the journey is always the hardest part. I believe that. And I also know that once that first step is taken the rest of the steps can be taken. To whoever reads the, sorry for the long post. I wanted to get that off of my chest. I don't know when I will be able to write again, but rest assured that I will. I will also post some pictures when I get a camera that is compatible with my laptop.